I've been locked-on again for almost a week now. I thought I was getting better in leaps and bounds but, as the blog title eludes to, nothing is ever as good or bad as it first seems. I cried a lot tonight for the first time in a long time and having come through it now it felt good. Obviously it didn't feel that good at the time but I guess that comes with the territory.
Even the feeling of getting locked-on seems to be steadily improving. The locks are intense for shorter periods and the lasting feeling is less intense and slightly more rational. When I pull myself together I do wonder if I could do something 'silly' of the fatal nature during these times but I find it fairly unlikely even though I do consider it at the time.
Even as I write this I'm starting to feel better which is a vast improvement from seven weeks ago. According to my closest friend and constant ally the aim of all this is to stop locking-on all together but at this stage that still seems impossible to achieve and I'm not sure that I would want to even if I could. Guess that's what I need to find out.
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