I saw Mel recently and it felt good. I hadn't seen her in a long time and I was nervous about how I would handle my feelings. After talking with her and hanging out for a while I felt great.
I reflected on why I felt better about this and came up with the unoriginal idea that most of my negative feelings around Mel stem from feeling bad about myself as a result of my perception of how I believe that Mel sees me. I'll fix up that sentence later. I probably won't. Seeing Mel had previously made me look at myself from what I believed to be her perspective where I am not good enough to be in her life. I know that Mel doesn't hate me and on some level she probably does like me but what I need to do for myself and for her is to act for myself.
I reflected on why I felt better about this and came up with the unoriginal idea that most of my negative feelings around Mel stem from feeling bad about myself as a result of my perception of how I believe that Mel sees me. I'll fix up that sentence later. I probably won't. Seeing Mel had previously made me look at myself from what I believed to be her perspective where I am not good enough to be in her life. I know that Mel doesn't hate me and on some level she probably does like me but what I need to do for myself and for her is to act for myself.
